Every dog has his day in court

Bailiff: Oyez, Oyez! All rise! This court for the adjudication of small claims is now in session, the Honorable Judge Gregory Petsko presiding. Anyone having any business before this court, draw near and ye shall be heard. God save the United States of America and this court.Judge Petsko: Be seated. Case before the court is a continuance of the suit brought by the makers of Whiskers Cat Food against the makers of Kibbles and Bits. (Turns to the plaintiff's table) Counselor, when we recessed yesterday you had just completed examining your sixth witness. Do you have any additional witnesses to call at this time?Mason Dixon (rising): No, Your Honor. The plaintiffs rest. (Sits down.)Judge Petsko (turning to the defendant's table): Does Council for the Defense wish to make an opening statement at this time?Mink (rising): Yes, Your Honor. (Mink walks slowly over to the jury box, which is filled with a motley assortment of animals) Ladies and Gen - er, I mean, Fellow Animals of the Jury, it is the contention of Counsel for the Plaintiff that the actions of the defendants have caused irreparable harm to his client, the Whiskers Cat Food Company. The gist of their argument, as you have heard during the past few days of testimony, is that the manufacturing and selling of dog food has reduced the shelf space in grocery stores that would otherwise be available for the sale of cat food, thereby causing them to lose a fortune in would-be sales. Rather than attempt to refute their argument point by point, I am now going to ask the judge to rule on the case without my making an argument. This is called Summary Judgment. (Turns to bench) Your Honor, the Defense makes a motion for Summary Judgment in favor of the defendants.Judge Petsko: This is somewhat irregular (not that I'm surprised at that in this court). Counselor, what are the grounds for your motion?Mink: Your Honor, the grounds are that the plaintiffs have no standing in this case.Mason Dixon: Objection! The irreparable har