We study the collective excitations of holographic quantum liquids formed in the low energy theory living at the intersection of two sets of D-branes. The corresponding field theory dual is a supersymmetric Yang-Mills theory with massless matter hypermultiplets in the fundamental representation of the gauge group which generically live on a defect of the unflavored theory. Working in the quenched (probe) approximation, we focus on determining the universal properties of these systems. We analyze their thermodynamics, the speed of first sound, the diffusion constant, and the speed of zero sound. We study the influence of temperature, chemical potential, and magnetic field on these quantities, as well as on the corresponding collisionless/hydrodynamic crossover. We also generalize the alternative quantization for all conformally $AdS_4$ cases and study the anyonic correlators.